Signals Or Behaviors: Do You Notice When Your Relationship Needs Help?.

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Have you ever heard someone say that stress is a silent killer?  If you’re worried about the bills you have to pay, whether or not you’re living up to your boss’ expectations, or your partner leaving you, there’s one sure-fire way to make these anxieties go away. 

 Keep stressing about them and die of heart disease, cancer, or a host of other illnesses that eat away at you every time you let stress dominate your life.

 It’s likely that we all experience the effects of stress at some point in our lives.  You’re not sure how you’re going to make your next mortgage payment, there’s not enough time in your day to get done everything that needs to get done, or you can’t seem to lose weight despite all of your efforts to stay on your diet. 

 Often, we’ve got deadlines to meet at work and the kids are pulling at us every which way when we get home.  Sometimes we just can’t seem to come to a place of peace; a space in our center where everything is okay.

 Stress is not something that “happens to us.”You might think that everyone and everything else is contributing to all the stress that you’re feeling. You may feel that if THEY or IT would just go away and leave you alone you’d be free to enjoy life as you see it. This ugly, burdensome, sneaky, and pushy thing that we call stress may seem like it rears its head as a result of situations that “happen” to us. 

 What if I told you that the stress you’re “under” is actually a result of a perception that you hold, and that you are the only one who can kick it to the curb for good? It doesn’t matter what’s going on at work, home, or anywhere else. 

You have all the power you need to give stress the boot, but first you need to untie the shackles of fear and allow yourself to look at stress a new way.

  Stress is simply our response to demands that are placed on us. Sometimes the demands are physical, such as when we run ourselves ragged working 15-hour days or cheat ourselves of the precious sleep that our bodies need.

 At other times, the demands are emotional or intellectual like when we don’t feel confident enough to stand up for ourselves in relationships or when we are not secure enough in our skills to ask for the money that we deserve in our careers. 

 When we experience stress, we are simply “perceiving “  we are not enough” or that we “don’t have enough.”

 When we are stressed, we are thinking from a place of “lack.”  Lack of time, resources, skills, money, love, looks, people, things, you name it. The stress that we feel is placed “on” us “BY “ us, and the only one that can get rid of it is US. I am here to help you realize the triggers that bring stress into your life. 

 My Stress Management Report will help you identify how you are dealing with the demands of the world around you.

 The first thing that you need to do to remove stress from your life is to change the way you look at what’s going on inside you and around you. 

 The next time you’re feeling “not enough,” or “don’t have enough,” reach for a thought of abundance. Of “ENOUGH.”  It doesn’t matter what the thought is.  The point is that you just want to feel “enough” of something so you can experience what it’s really like to live with that joyful feeling.

 When you feel the heavy hand of stress weighing down on you, find something that makes you FULL.  Full of love, confidence, joy, respect, experience, knowledge, eternity, whatever it is that eases your mind and calms your spirit.

  Stress can be measured in many ways. 

 You probably know when stress is starting to take center stage in your own life.  When your level of performance drops and your focus becomes skewed.

 I have recognized stress in my own life when I’ve felt:

     * constant shallowness of breath

     * a confusion of the mind that swings from panic to excessive crying to depression 

     * self- questioning or doubt

 Others may know that they’re under stress when they console themselves with food, alcohol, or drugs to feel better; to simply find respite from the ongoing pressures that they are experiencing.

 As much as stress is an unwelcome visitor, in times when we think we couldn’t possibly handle any more of life’s challenges, it’s wise to look at stress as a gift; one that’s been given to help us recognize the best way to live our lives in peace and harmony.

 Small amounts of stress can be a good thing if you learn to use it for your benefit.  If you allow it to teach you what really works for you in your life, and what doesn’t.

 Our bodies are programmed with a built-in response system that allows for physiological changes to cope with stressful situations.  This is called the “fight or flight” response, and it comes in handy when we’re being chased by an abductor or in other emergency situations. But, it’s unnatural and dangerous for the body to undergo stress after stress, for long periods of time.  When this happens, our health and emotional lives are at risk.

 Aside from the rare encounter with a legitimate fear or stress, in the course of our normal lives there is really not much that we need to be getting so upset over.

 

The next time you feel stressed, ask yourself these questions:

  • Will this thing that I’m stressed over really matter much in a month, a year, 5 years?
  • Do I really need this responsibility in my life? 
  • What is it that I REALLY WANT to consume my life?
  • What is the worst that can happen here, and is it really as bad as I’ve perceived it to be?
  • Will letting go of this issue allow for better things to come into my life?
  • Will facing this fear or problem, head on, help me to focus on ways that I AM taking charge of my own life? Will it show me what I’m doing that IS working?
  • Are these the type of people who I want to surround myself with?
  • Am I placing too many demands on myself and being unrealistic about what is humanly possible?
  • When I search my heart for the answers to my concerns, what does it tell me?

 Stress and its symptoms can be a window to the life that you are meant to live.  When it comes calling, answer with what is in your heart.  Tell stress that you are ready to purge old fears, habits, people, jobs, thoughts of “not enough,” feelings of “not good enough,” and anything else that is not allowing you to experience the love of life that you were meant to experience.

Let me help you to find a quiet place within yourself where you can thank stress for stopping by, and absolve it of any power over your life.

 My Stress Feedback Coaching session is the perfect venue for tapping into how you are presently dealing with the stress in your life, and for uncovering what it is that you really want to be consuming your life.  Contact me for a discounted session.

 You are in control now.  You always have been.  It’s time to take the next step and show yourself who’s in charge.  With my help, you can easily Adapt 2 Change and carve out the life of your dreams.

Curt Canada helps clients manage stress learning firsthand their stress handling style that’s associated with their Personality TYPE accompanied by collaborative feedback and coaching. Visit us at www.adapting2change.com

Have you recently suffered from a nagging back related pain or spasm? Have you gone to the neighborhood pharmacy or chemist seeking relief using products on the shelf or those recommended by friends? 

This past week I went through Hell both day and night and nothing seemed to work!

 Most of us can answer these questions or at least know someone who has suffered from such agony. The following day after using most of these products and cure alls my pain had worsened and shifted to another area of my body. It appears  now time to return to work  or to succumb to extreme medical relief.

It can be very costly and temporary. So what will you do the next time. I have an answer or suggestion YOU might want to consider. How about a physical therapist/personal trainer.

Here’s what I learned today from my new physical therapist who gives house calls: ( my interpretation)

1 our bodies and all of its networks and neural pathways and skeletal  parts are wrapped miraculously around cellular fluid and an intricate muscular masterpiece.

2 if you were to look closely and survey the anatomy you will notice a well designed symmetric anatomical system well-balanced to get through most of the stuff we put it through.

3 if for some reason we do not take care of this body whether getting enough rest, “proper” exercise, food and liquids( not alcohol) preferably water and stretch the hell out of yourselves daily morning and evening, your body will signal  pain and more pain leading to an obvious shut down of its parts or a compensation (one part working for the weak part) bringing about an imbalance.

4 if you notice  extreme pain when pressing on the surface of your anatomy ie  back, legs,Achilles, shoulders, calfs, hamstrings, you’re re not receiving the right amount of elasticity and manipulation and liquid to bring about ultimum flexibility. Thus, the muscles become rigid, stress moves in, and the slightest overworking of a certain area can result in all sorts of things..but what I noticed in my body over the past week was an extreme pain in my lower back on both sides of the spinal cord and pain running down my legs.

5 I have some work to do and Thank God a friend recommended a physical therapist /personal trainer that I can report is worth his fee. I became educated about the trauma I am experiencing. He shared how the muscles work and how the body works for us.

6  Most importantly, the areas that brought on this wake-up call(even though I attend a gym five days a week)  had been neglected. I mentioned that I play tennis and do ergonomic exercises  and ride a bike as in spinning.  Cardiovascular, I am doing exceptionally well. However  my overall physical makeup and development is in need of attention!

* I received a house call and surprisingly a lot of stretching(painful; I actually cried; deep tissue manipulation with the use of my ptherapist’s elbow.  He pinpointed my areas of future exercises and how to use the tennis ball placing force on those painful areas on my bum or butt that were the result of the tightening of muscles that were so intricately connected to the muscles in my lower back. These knots and muscular rigidity resulted in my back injury. 

No butts about it… If I so listen and set goals to get my body in best performance, my lower back problems may never occur again.

What’s your takeaway?   Personally, I can not stress how important stretching is prior to any strenous activity.

* This physical therapist/house calls/recommended highly/ in the Arlington Va and Washington DC metro area. Email me at curtcanada@comcast.net and I will send his information!

Curt Canada works with clients seeking personal and leadership development coaching and consulting in Washington DC.

How to Find Yourself Through Transitions and New Beginnings

 

I have found that the biggest hurdle to living a life in joy is attachment.  Attachment to people, to jobs, to things, to situations, and to ways of life, we have become dependent on.  When we are so attached to anything that is outside of ourselves, we leave the door open for chaos, fear, sadness, overwhelm, and depression to follow.  Is that how you want to live your life?

 

True joy comes from within. 

 

It comes from a love of self that is so deep, that anything life brings becomes irrelevant to our ability to experience the true blissful nature of ourselves.  Sometimes it is difficult to find our joy, or remember the joy that we had when things seemed to be going “right.”

 

You may have just lost your job, had a partner walk out of your life, or lost a family member to death.  Perhaps you just received news of a business deal not going the way you expected, or suffered a setback at the hands of another or maybe even yourself. 

 

All of these things, if you make the choice to see through the veil of despair and misfortune, are a chance for you to let go of what you think you need to be happy.  They are an opportunity to simply choose to be happy because you are alive. 

 

With a determined change in perspective, you can learn to see anything that happens outside of yourself as simply that. Something outside of you.

 

You are not your job.  You are not your lover.  You are not your relationships with friends or family.  You are not your business.  You are not your successes.  You are not your mistakes.

 

You are you.  You are all the things that you love to do.  You are all of the love and joy that you bring to the world.  You are an infinite well of creativity, passion, resilience, and abilities that are ready to be tapped into any ANY moment of your life.

 

“When we find Self we no longer have need or attachment for any other thing…we’re not on a need level where we die emotionally if we don’t have it.  When we die emotionally, we shut of the energy flow.” – John-Roger DSS

 

When we experience loss, in our careers or relationships, it is an opportunity for us to look within and realize that, despite anything that has “happened to us,” we are still here.  Still alive. Still breathing.  Still wanting things that we want.

 

The world has not ended.  It has just changed, and if we are to go on and experience the joy that we want so badly to experience, we must change too.

 

Go on dreaming of that perfect way to make money to support your family.  Go on being your loving self and attracting a loving person to share your life with.  Go on living life to the fullest with the family members that surround you. Go on looking for the beautiful things in life that will bring a smile to your face.

 

But remember, it all starts with YOU. 

 

You are the only one that can foster a love for yourself that it so immense, it can withstand any obstacle and bear and weight.  YOU are the one that can simply make the choice to disregard EVERYTHING going around you and look at what is still love INSIDE of you. 

 

Even when everything looks bleak, and there seems to be no end in sight, you can CHOOSE to reach for a happier thought NOW.  Reach for anything that will, at this present moment, bring you closer to the joy that you want. 

 

Allow yourself to acknowledge anything negative that comes into your mind and recognize it as what it is, an emotion that is trying to protect you from harm. Acknowledge it and then simply let it go. Gracious and Loving.

 

Then choose another thought.  One that makes you feel like laughing, dancing, doing something you’ve never done before.  Even if only for a moment.  Moments become minutes. Minutes become hours. Hours become days.  Soon, you will find that you have become the director of your own life, conducting your days in perfect harmony with the abundance that you so deserve.

 

As a trained life coach, I am here to help you through the most difficult transitions in your life. I have the tools and resources to help you to find what it is that truly makes you happy, and to make these things the focus of YOUR life.  I have experienced loss and challenges that given me the chance to have honest conversations with myself about what I want, and what I want my experiences around me to look like.  I want to share what I have learned with you.  Contact me for a consultation, so that we can get you started on your road to a new beginning.  A new, joyous life.

 

Curt Canada is a Coach and Consultant in the areas of leadership and personal development in Washington DC and is a member of The Christian Coaches Network and International Coach Federation. He holds a Masters in Social Work from the University of Iowa and a Masters in Education from The University of Iowa and  Leadership and Life Coaching from the Institute for Life Coach Training.

 

 

 

Are you finding it difficult to simply keep up with your work schedule leaving you, your daily chores, and family on the back burner?  Maybe setting some priorities, a little delegation, and a pinch of organization just might be the plan. Most of us have so many demands on our time and energy, life can feel like a three-ring circus.

 

Take this quiz to see how well you are meeting responsibilities, while also recognizing and fulfilling personal needs and wants.

 

True  False

 

m   m  1. The only way I can successfully manage my life is to take care of myself physically and emotionally.

 

m   m  2. Nurturing myself enlarges my capacity to help others.

 

m   m  3. I eat healthfully and exercise regularly.

 

m   m  4. I get check-ups, go to the dentist, and take preventative precautions.

 

m   m  5. I set aside personal, quiet time for myself, whether I’m meditating or simply letting my thoughts drift. 

 

m   m  6. I experience the gifts of each season: ice skating, sledding, bundled-up beach walks; gardening, hiking, more time outside; camping, swimming, visiting a museum, barbeques; harvesting the bounty, gathering wood, spending more time inside.

 

m   m  7. Creativity nurtures me, too. I do what I love, whether that’s cooking, drawing, painting, writing, dancing, singing or another creative pursuit. 

 

m   m  8. Reaching out to others enriches my life. I spend quality time with family and friends.

 

m   m  9. Contributing to the world provides connection and purpose, so I give my time, energy and experience where it is most useful. 

 

m   m  10. I notice and heed the emotional signals that tell me I’m out of balance: irritability, overwhelm, resentment.

 

m   m  11. If I feel that I’m catching a cold, I realize I may have stressed my immune system with over activity, so I stop and take care of myself.

 

m   m  12. When I need or want to, I say no to requests for my time.

 

m   m  13. I listen to and honor the requests my body makes for such things as a nap, a walk, green vegetables, hot soup.

 

m   m  14. If I have something planned for myself, I don’t just toss that aside when someone makes a request of me.

 

m   m  15. I’m busy, but I find time to do the things I want to do.

 

m   m  16. I’m happy. I regularly experience well-being, contentment, even joy.

 

If you answered false more often than true, you may want to take a look at the questions to which you answered false and see if you can incorporate something of its message into your life. Please don’t hesitate to schedule a consultation if you’d like to explore this issue further.

 

Curt Canada is a Leadership and Personal Development Coach and Consultant in Washington, (Glover Park) DC. He has a recent new business webpage at http://www.adapting2Change.com

 

 © 2011 Claire Communications

 

 1 Finding its True Meaning…not a time for evaluation nor criticism. I must share with you that it is not humanly possible not to think about all those memorable times with loved ones whom you have shared past holiday seasons. There are regrets perhaps and for some a happy time and for some of you ,sadness. Think of, if you can a happy, surprised, good surprised moment you recall or something totally silly or funny about this holiday if you just have to return to the past. A meditative moment has been noted to reduce stress. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and those most celebrated gift -giving days are not so far in the distant!  So go ahead and deck the halls for goodness sake! Actually not just yet, there’s Thanksgiving!

Perhaps there’s a special bulb you have made for the Christmas tree….a song that you like though you can’t really carry a tune…if you can handle a comedy live show ..definitely attend….we all could use a laugh or two… invest time in helping others or visiting someone less fortunate than you. I will leave it up to you to find your meaning for such a holiday celebrated by many throughout the world in their own way.

 2 Logistics: Travel, Budgetary, and Social Arrangements:  plan Ask yourself if it’s going to be stretch or strain on your budget about the  purchase of gifts? So you’re in that unemployment boat that millions find themselves this holiday season, so what? Don’t give up, keep looking for that job! However don’t accept any factitious and or real credit cards! It’s not your money. Do shop for bargains …they’re out there? Plan months ahead for that holiday plane or train or bus ticket? Travel safe? Check your tires and an overall check-up of your car?  Get ample rest before and after your trip or holiday vacation.

 Get physically and emotionally ready: Am I ready for this. Holidays are not immune of past events and moments in one’s life that are not always happy times. Keep in mind that you will most likely cross family and friends and past admirers during this time. Try  keeping those times separate. Not a time to evaluate though you are approaching the end of another year. Give praise and gratitude ..there’s much to be simply thankful for. Find a gym or a yoga class ..exercise is so important for relieving stress. Eat lots of veggies and fruit. Get and give lots of hugs but stay away from the common cold and all other communicable viruses if possible.

4 It will come and go…. Visualize what would blow your top off? Don’t go there then. You do have the ability to dummy down some of those in the past memorable stressful experiences.

 5 Most importantly: Find time for self….take a break from all the hustle and demands placed upon oneself during this particular time of year  (find a good book to read)  take an impromptu walk/ stay away from the tv/ stay away from big crowds/drink lots of water and juice….minimize your alcohol content(take it from me…alcohol does not alleviate stress!)….give thanks often no matter what your faith or religion happens to be….take a nap in the middle of the day… stay away from last years holiday experience… perhaps I didn’t cover anything that would truly help you alleviate what’s placing so much stress in your life but at least for the moment you were forced to tread somewhere beyond yourself to a world of possibilities when it comes of thinking and getting ready for one if not the biggest holiday seasons of the year! Show a little gratitude starting with Thanksgiving. This will lower your stress tremendously as you plan your celebrations next month.

 Lastly, don’t drink and drive….find a designated driver or hide the keys.  Remember, it’s not always about you or me or where and how quickly we need to get there.

 Oh, by the way…an early Happy New Year  to you all !

 Curt Canada- Board Certified Coach at Adapting2change in Washington DC coaches clients in areas of  personal, workplace, and leadership development f2f and via  Skype and web-conferencing.