Letting Go and Allowing Change To Happen: Three Important Stages!

July 11, 2011


You know that you will survive change. We’ve all lost someone via an accident, a family member through a death, a marital separation, a loss of a prosperous career, or a home in an environmental disaster. You’ve had plenty of practice in life making small and large adjustments. You are equipped with all the skills you need. You just may need to hone some of those skills. Knowing the three stages of change can help you understand what you have gone through during previous changes in your life. I assure you it will take some time but you must begin somewhere. Keep also in mind that each and every individual that encounters change responds so differently!

‘Letting Go’ Stage of Change

The first step of change can sometimes be the most painful. In order to move through the change process you will have to let go of something. Something must come to an end. This could be the end of a relationship, end of a job, end of security, or the end of an unfulfilled dream. We must at some point let go of the past to be able to accept and prepare for change.

It is hard on our human nature to let go of what is familiar – even when the old might not serve us well. During the letting go process we usually go through a grieving process. The more attached we are to the old, the more we will grieve.

Most grief professionals and coaches agree that the grieving process consists of five stages:

•Denial – Believing that this is “just a dream” or “just a phase”. It’s really not happening.
•Bargaining – Believing that we can negotiate our way back to how things used to be.
•Anger – Feeling intensely about how “unfair” the situation is. We may even experience anger toward other people, believing, it’s their fault.
•Sadness – Feeling lost, alone, or vulnerable. Sometimes this can deepen into depression and requires professional help.
•Acceptance – Realizing that things will not go back to the way they were. You are now ready to move forward.

The order of the stages may shift and you may vacillate from one to the other and back (from anger to sadness and back to anger). The important lesson for you is that you understand that these feelings are normal and are necessary to complete the grieving process. If you find yourself stuck in the grieving process at any step of the way, engage the services of a professional counselor, clergy, or coach to give you guidance.

TBContinued in the next post!

Curt Canada coaches clients around life and work related challenges at FindingYourZenith in Washington DC. Schedule a consultation today..email Curt at coachingconsultant@comcast.net

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One Response to “Letting Go and Allowing Change To Happen: Three Important Stages!”


  1. Thank you all(you know who you are ) for following my Blog
    FindingYourZenith …. I am quite happy to receive 1000 hits this morning!

    Thanks

    Curt Canada


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