You know that you will survive change. We’ve all lost someone via an accident, a family member through a death, a marital separation, a loss of a prosperous career, or a home in an environmental disaster. You’ve had plenty of practice in life making small and large adjustments. You are equipped with all the skills you need. You just may need to hone some of those skills. Knowing the three stages of change can help you understand what you have gone through during previous changes in your life. I assure you it will take some time but you must begin somewhere. Keep also in mind that each and every individual that encounters change responds so differently!

‘Letting Go’ Stage of Change

The first step of change can sometimes be the most painful. In order to move through the change process you will have to let go of something. Something must come to an end. This could be the end of a relationship, end of a job, end of security, or the end of an unfulfilled dream. We must at some point let go of the past to be able to accept and prepare for change.

It is hard on our human nature to let go of what is familiar – even when the old might not serve us well. During the letting go process we usually go through a grieving process. The more attached we are to the old, the more we will grieve.

Most grief professionals and coaches agree that the grieving process consists of five stages:

•Denial – Believing that this is “just a dream” or “just a phase”. It’s really not happening.
•Bargaining – Believing that we can negotiate our way back to how things used to be.
•Anger – Feeling intensely about how “unfair” the situation is. We may even experience anger toward other people, believing, it’s their fault.
•Sadness – Feeling lost, alone, or vulnerable. Sometimes this can deepen into depression and requires professional help.
•Acceptance – Realizing that things will not go back to the way they were. You are now ready to move forward.

The order of the stages may shift and you may vacillate from one to the other and back (from anger to sadness and back to anger). The important lesson for you is that you understand that these feelings are normal and are necessary to complete the grieving process. If you find yourself stuck in the grieving process at any step of the way, engage the services of a professional counselor, clergy, or coach to give you guidance.

TBContinued in the next post!

Curt Canada coaches clients around life and work related challenges at FindingYourZenith in Washington DC. Schedule a consultation Curt at


We have all had it happen to us where one day you look up and you run into an old friend at a conference or workshop. Suddenly, your brain is thrown in high gear as your mind deciphers where, how, and when  your last meeting was ? Was it a pleasant moment ? You sort of glance at the person and ask that you …ugh..well you know what I mean…then there’s the small talk and and then the other person continues to tell you there life story thinking that perhaps you will follow! Oh” How time fly?”  I sometime wonder about flying clocks! (a clock with wings on each side.) You then find your exit signal… you both reply;  ” It was nice seeing you”  and …let’s get in touch… you could have exchanged contact information?”

Anyway this past week I received about three email or what I call request for new information  from past acquaintances by way of  the social media giant “Facebook” where I was told was a great place to market your business and grow your client base.  I bet they googled me first! Not one of them were looking to advance themselves in terms of personal growth and development nor seeking a life coach.  I’m sure it had to do with the ecliptic energy we all experienced this past month on Mother Earth! 

However, chances are that we would meet again; it was in the cards; it was meant to be.  Eclipses,new adventure, past relationships, and re-kindling the flames or energy around us  has its advantages and its disadvantages. I really don’t quiteknow what to do with  running into my past but at  least it’s not face to face. That’s why I will cautiously and methodically acknowledge this past weeks’ occurrences. See,  I really want you to know that I’m an avid fan and student of astronomyand I”ve dabbled in the pseudo-science of astrology and  found it to be to my advantage at various times in my life.

Nevertheless, it just dawned on me that I can leave all of them in limbo…acknowledge there presence on my fb wall…or make a real conscious decision to reply….besides it’s ok … I guess… if while growing and marketing my business….a few past friends found me and desire a chat!

Have you had an ecliptic moment this past month and how has it affected you? I can’t blame Facebook and I”m not quite ready and ethically willing to take on past friends as clients. It could get a little messy!

So go ahead and eclipse me and at the same time visit me at    . Read more about solar and lunar eclipse


There’s this one friend though that I’m interested in how their life has progressed but I will leave that person for another…well you know…


Curt Canada holds a Masters in Social Work and Elementary Education from The University of Iowa and  American University.  He heads the Personal Growth and Development practice ” FindingYourZenith”  in Washington DC.